This year, I’ve been offering my coaching services online - via email and chat. If you or someone you know is interested in career coaching I’m available at the following link: http://www.liveperson.com/dr-anne . I also offer phone, email, and chat options through my webiste: http://anneoffner.com/ .

If I’m not available when you click on these links just send me an email and I’ll get back with you within 24 hours.

Of course our parents and family help shape our view of “career”. The role models, values, and messages they sent us laid the groundwork for how we see the world. My mother, always the top 1 or 2 students in her class, was told she shouldn’t go to college because she needed to make money for the family. Instead she enrolled in a two-year secretarial program. My father was raised by a traveling salesman - this must have influenced his choice to stay with the same job for 45 years and turn down promotions that would have required him to move his family across the country.

Thankfully I received a clear message that education was important. My father later confessed that he sent me to college so I would find a nice husband but my mother was pleased that I loved my studies enough to pursue graduate education. On the other end of the spectrum, I had a friend when I was younger who told me he did not want to attend college because he didn’t want to be a “college boy”. No one in his family had been to college. Eventually, after marrying a college graduate he decided it might be a good idea and he later became a successful consultant.

This leads me to point out that messages we receive beyond the family also help shape us. Take just 2 minutes and consider the messages you have received along the way. For example, the type and quality of the educational system available to you likely shaped your attitude and view of what was possible. Stereotypes were also influential (what girls can do, what boys can do, what white folks can do, what Asians can do, what black folks can do, etc.). The condition of your neighborhood, prevalence of crime, or interaction with your neighbors also showed you a view of the world and what might be possible (or impossible) for you. Whether you came of age during a recession, war, cultural upheaval, or national crisis may have also helped shape your view of the world.

So many things help us form our view of what we can expect for ourselves. How we respond to our experiences helps us become who we are and what we are becoming. I believe that careers are an on-going process. Whether we have one career for 30 years or a series of jobs in that same time period we learn about ourselves and uncover which messages we received have served us well and which have blocked us from progress.

During my career I’ve re-shaped my view of the world many times over. My first job out of college was in the Men’s Department at Dillard’s Department Stores. I was asked to sort socks on my first day. I cried. A year later I was working as a social worker down in St. Petersburg, FL – making public presentations for the first time in my life and discovering that I had the fortitude to learn to do casework that was challenging and often quite intimidating. Eventually I entered graduate school and again opened my eyes to a new way of thinking and understanding the world around me.

With deep knowledge and well-honed skills I’ve learned that I can make a difference. Today I am fortunate to have opportunities to work with people who want to make improvements in their work lives. The situations I get involved in are often fairly intense – as a coach, teacher, and consultant. Last month I had three clients tell me that I had made a difference in their work lives. I appreciate the feedback. It helps me continue to shape the trajectory of my career, and gives me some satisfaction that I’ve begun to integrate the messages that have served me and to shed the messages that have blocked me along the way.

Visit me online now for a professional chat about your career:http://www.liveperson.com/dr-anne 

Ó Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

http://www.phwa.org/resources/goodcompany/blog/2009/10/faulty-assumptions-in-creating.php

In case you’re wondering what is meant by “psychologically healthy workplace” - click here for an overview: http://www.phwa.org/resources/creatingahealthyworkplace/

I’m not talking about the workaholic who can’t leave her work and relax. That’s a different topic.

I am talking about the person who finds something fascinating about what she does and then shares it with others, improves things, delights people, saves lives, or somehow makes our world a better place.

This past weekend I attended a series of very festive wedding events for an impressive young couple. Through the many (yes, many, many speeches) offered to the couple by their friends and family I got to know them a bit better. One thing I learned about the bride is that her friends admire her homemaking abilities. Her now husband appreciates her relentless advice on what to wear in public. Her friends say that the bride enjoys “a good tri-fold on her towels” and always makes guests feel welcome.

This gave me something to consider once the festivities ended.

Aside from enjoying cooking and having friends and family over to my house, I have very little homemaking interest or ability. In fact, watching my mother take care of 8 children on a limited budget I admit that homemaking was not on my top ten list of career options as I embarked into the world after college. Also, there is the ability issue. For instance, I often need help tying a bow properly on a gift and I honestly do not care how my towels are folded or whether a garnish is put atop a lovely piece of fish that I’m about to serve. I could easily walk out of the house without a pair of earrings or forget to check that my clothes actually match. Such considerations do not come naturally to me.

Apparently this young bride lives for these things. She enjoys the Martha Stewart approach to life. I would dare say she is driven towards making the world a better place in this way.

Wow, I thought to myself at the end of the weekend, this is not just an interest for this young woman. Neither is it frivolous (sorry, my stereotypes are showing). Rather, I believe it is part of her identity. She works for a catering service and has a delightful, effervescent personality and so that makes sense. I’ve been to her home and it’s lovely, warm, and inviting and that also makes sense. She is living her career at home and at work (not to mention all the little extras at her wedding!).

I’ll be interested to see how this young woman applies her skills in the world. Her friends and family clearly appreciate it now. If I were a betting woman I’d say the odds are very good that she’ll find a way to make a meaningful splash whether as a homemaker or as someone who brings homemaking skills to the world. Julia Child did it. Martha Stewart did too. For me, this young woman has legitimized homemaking as a career with the potential to impact lives and delight people. I love it when my stereotypes are broken! Thanks to the bride, her new husband, and her loyal friends for offering me this enlightenment.

Visit me online now for a professional chat about your career:http://www.liveperson.com/dr-anne 

Ó Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

After reading this I decided to do a little research and guess what, people are out there doing what they love. CNN showcases a few of these folks, including a woman who transitioned from a 12-year career as an electrical engineer to a career as a beauty salon owner: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/02/24/economy.career/index.html

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch recently featured Susan Slaughter, principal trumpet for the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra who will be retiring after 40 years; 36 years as principal trumpet. Not only is her longevity with the symphony unusual, so is her gender. Ms. Slaughter is the first (and only) female to be named principal trumpet of a major orchestra. I was struck by the article because it is clear from her comments that her career has fully engaged her natural talents, has brought her great joy, and the ability to influence others in her field. http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/entertainment/stories.nsf/music/story/D8CEE5F549F3B99886257635006F7EAF?OpenDocument

The Wall Street Journal regularly reports on people who “go for it” in terms of finding what they love to do. Recent articles have described a variety of people. One guy left a lucrative job as a fixed-income trader the year after 9/11 to become a waiter, then a sommelier, and most recently the manager of Del Frisco’s restaurant in Manhattan. He said he wanted to love coming to work and had previously enjoyed the restaurant business and so he made the leap into a new career. In another article an immigrant to the US was featured. He started out cleaning wine cellars and later became a wine taster and now owns his own vineyard, Mi Sueño Winery in Napa Valley. His wine was served at the White House when the Mexican president visited! Another woman they feature started out as an entertainment attorney, then worked as a financial advisor for Merrill Lynch, quit that to stay home with her kids, and now owns her own floral and event design business, Florisan LLC. http://online.wsj.com/public/page/reinvent.html

I don’t think you have to love your job. For some people, getting a paycheck that helps them support themselves or their family is most important. One well-recommended career coach out in the San Francisco Bay Area says it just might not be such a good idea to aim for what you love. Instead he suggests taking a practical and realistic view of your own preferences and business realities: http://www.martynemko.com/articles/do-what-you-love-and-starve_id1380 . I liked his website for not only his sage advice but also he is a dog lover and so I felt compelled to include him in this blog today.

But I do think it is important to be passionate about something in your life. If a career is not where you find passion perhaps it is in an avocation such as gardening, cooking, running marathons, traveling, fixing up houses, sewing or knitting, volunteering at your kid’s school, golfing, participating in dog shows, riding horses, or any number of activities that engage your talents, abilities, and interests. A recent local news show featured a story about a group of 400 knitters who brought their knitting to a St. Louis Cardinals game. Apparently they attend every year as part of their club activities. They love knitting and I’m sure the people in their lives appreciate the output of their passion! I actually met a corporate guy-turned-gardener a few years ago when I asked for a bid on a project at my house. He started out in Corporate Communications and later turned his love for gardening into a part-time business. His other part-time business is producing videos for corporations. I don’t think you have to turn your avocation into a career, but it sure may be an option if you are in need of extra income, or want to do something different in your retirement.

If you are driven to want a career that you’re passionate about it’s best to be patient, take on an optimistic perspective, persevere, and at times, work very hard. As Susan Slaughter says in the article I referenced, her job has been very demanding - physically and otherwise. Still she kept herself to a high standard and produces beautiful music. Steve Jobs urged the Stanford grads to seek until they find what they love to do as a prerequisite to doing great work. Rolando Herrera, the owner of Mi Sueño Winery got his start because the manager of the winery for which he cleaned wine cellars noticed he had an incredible work ethic and offered him a chance to learn the wine business. Striving for excellence perhaps is the theme I see here.

In the demanding times of our lives, striving for excellence may seem daunting. I think the message in what I’ve researched this past week is that we gain a sense of our own capabilities, a sense of pride in our accomplishments when do great work. And if we don’t have much free time, we can do great work in small ways. Whether it’s producing a gorgeous scarf for a daughter to wear this winter, creating a garden for family and friends to enjoy, cooking a delicious meal, helping your child with his science project, creating the next Mac, or producing a perfect sound in the symphony; the act of creating something is satisfying. It allows us to share our inner strengths with others. And when we do this, we make the world a better place in which to live and share our passions.

Ó Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

The following link can be accessed by non WSJ subscribers for 7 days:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203803904574429151858232582-email.html

If you listen to the video you’ll hear Daniel Pink talking about why monetary rewards don’t necessarily increase performance; in some cases they actually hurt performance.

He says businesses need to start listening to social science.

I agree.

Now, for the hard questions. How do you get Wallstreet to start listening to social science? Businesses won’t listen until Wallstreet listens. And, how do you get compensation consultants to start listening to social science? Executive compensation programs are big business for consultanting firms. How do you convince employees that a raise matters less than all the non-monetary rewards? We might have social science experiments to prove that this is true but how do you get people to believe it when it comes to their paycheck? Yes, you can hire good, talented people and they will work hard and perform well when given non-monetary rewards; but what about the guy who has kids to raise, a mortgage to pay, and a job that is just a means to an end?

Daniel Pink, I am a big fan of your work.

These are some of the significant details that need to be worked out before business starts to listen to social science.

Ó Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

As I was watching the news the other night, the reporter covered a story about recent research on multi-tasking. For those of us who tend to be proud of our ability to handle many tasks at once, we may want to think twice. The study has found that multi-tasking actually reduces our memory capacity! Those of us who rely on Blackberries, cell phones, lap tops, and other gadgets should beware. Moving from one gadget to the next while trying to complete a task over taxes our brains!

I like what Mihail Csikszentmihaly calls “flow”. He says that when we are engaged in a task that takes us beyond thinking about ourselves and that requires us to use abilities we enjoy, we can experience Flow. What I like about Flow is that it not only allows us to enjoy what we’re doing but it provides better output for others as well. So, at work, when we are able to engage in Flow, our productivity increases at the same time that our satisfaction with what we’re doing increases. A good win-win. You can read more about this if you like at this link: http://anneoffner.com/newsletter/FlowandWork(February2007).pdf 

More writing for me next week but I will stop back in for another blog.

Ó Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

When I’m sick I tend to think the worst - oh no I have Swine Flu or maybe I’ll have to go into the hospital for the first time ever because I have this really bad cough. Funny isn’t it? I am not a pessimist about other things in my life; only on the occasion of illness.

Perhaps it’s my haven to embrace empathy for myself. Perhaps it is my response to the stress of being ill (and not being able to accomplish work that needs to be completed). Whatever the cause I think it’s good therapy.

Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves a break to release energy. When I’m sick that’s what I do. I lie around and watch old movies, sleep, take short slow walks with my 15 year old dog, or read a chapter in a novel and then take a nap. Fortunately I do not get sick often and if it lasted longer than two weeks I’d begin a new cycle of stress but that is a topic for another blog – as I know many people have endured prolonged illness.

The lesson for me is to remember to listen to outside input. If your doctor says “you need to rest” then find time to do that. If your employers say “go home, we can live without you for a few days,” believe them. Require other people in your life to allow you to rest. Your health is a precious asset. Even if illness comes at a time that seems impossible to slow down; I invite you to question the logic of what you’ve deemed to be “impossible”. If you do not slow down for the illness; the illness may slow you down for a longer period than you’d like.

We live in a high-powered, fast-paced society but even the force of all the events and demands in our lives cannot keep us from getting ill from time to time. Believe me; you’ll make a better contribution to others when the illness has passed.

© Offner and Associates, LLC 2009.  All rights reserved.

If we generally like our identity it gives us a sense of peace. It’s also a baseline upon which to build when we are confronted with new challenges. It gives us confidence to forge ahead or the wisdom to ask for support.

For most of us our identity is dear to us. We sometimes have to defend it: “I am what I am.” At other times we have to explain it: “If you ask me for my opinion I’m going to give to you.” Still other times we need to examine it: “Was I a little too harsh in that meeting?”

As you’ve moved through life, you may have met someone whose identity seems more of a nemesis than a cherished aspect of themselves. For example, I recently read that Peter Sellers, the hilarious star of the Pink Panther movies, believed he had no identify of his own. He joked that there was no “real me” because he had had it “surgically removed” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Sellers). Apparently he took on whatever character he was playing at the time and brought that into his personal life, which had a great deal of strife and turmoil.

Similarly, Michael Jackson seemed to be at odds with his own identity. When I (as a big fan) think of Michael Jackson’s identity, I think of a child star, extraordinary performer, generous benefactor of many charities, super-big spender, and devoted father. His appearance changed of course but personally that never kept me from having my sense of who he was. Yet, the unfolding of his story since his passing shows a man who disliked his own appearance and saw himself as a child. Michael seemed to strive harder and seek with greater intensity to develop an identity than most of us do in our own lifetime. He seemed to be telling the world “hey this is me” but the world didn’t really believe him or embrace the identity he wanted us to know. How many of us want to see a man change his appearance so drastically, purport to be a boy, and socialize with children? Unfortunately his identity didn’t meet the world’s expectations.

Of course, if we all had to explain our actions to the media I wonder where we’d be. Reporters might stalk into our lives and ask “Why didn’t you get that promotion?” or “Are you really dating that guy?” or “If you were a tree, what type would you be!” As Seth and Amy say on Saturday Night Live - “I mean really” is that kind of information all that important?

I guess my bottom line thinking on this is that we need to hold our own selves as dear and understand that some aspects of “who I am” may or may not be accepted by others. If we want to play in certain spaces we may need to tone down or spruce up certain parts of our identity from time to time but stay close to your own identity. To quote from the Desiderata: “With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”[i]